Lexipants











{May 17, 2009}   Depressed? Probably not.

I haven’t had much of an online presence for a really long time. I’d say it’s because I’m never in front of a computer anymore, but really, it’s because I lost interest. They say when you lose interest in the things you love, you’re depressed. I was for a little while, but I’m learning to appreciate this life more and more everyday.  And I’m getting married in two months, which is super exciting, since it’s, you know a huge step in life and all, plus we get a mini wonderful vacation out of it since we’re getting married in Las Vegas.  (MGM Grand Wedding Chapel, Saturday, July 18, 2009, at 2pm!) I’m a little sad we don’t get to have a real honeymoon, but we’ll be able to do that later.  Maybe we’ll get to take a cruise.  They’re so romantic.  And OH how I love to travel.

I do wish for a different job everyday.  I’ve been at my current hourly wage for almost a year now and have probably complained the entire time.  And now they’ve started cutting my hours.  Which, even though I don’t want to be here, I still make plenty of sales for the store for just being part time.  So I try to be thankful that I even have a job, even though management are nazis and I have to watch over my shoulder every day. 

Almost every day I find new inspiration to keep going to school so I can go to grad school and do what I need to do.  It’s not as if it’s my dream to do what I’m doing, it’s more like I feel like this is what I was supposed to do.  I don’t know if that makes sense.  But I feel like the job I will come out with will be much more meaningful to me than making pretty advertisements.  I just know that if I have to work at this place more than another year I would seriously consider hurting myself just to get out of it.  I probably wouldn’t do it, but if it’s not hell, it’s at least purgatory.

Anywho, that’s all I’ve really been up to.  School and work.  I never have a real day off because I go to school during the week and work Thursday through Sunday.  I’m burning out so hard.  But I try to remind myself every day it will all be worth it later.  We’re in limbo about where we’re going to live, if we’re going to move near or far from where we are right now, and I hate not knowing.  Some big decisions are a-brewin.  Yikes.

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