Lexipants











{November 11, 2008}   The Laundromat

For the past few months I’ve been working in retail selling appliances.  With our economy the way it is, selling large purchases has been pretty slow.  Of course you can imagine the two types we get: a) the family spending their savings because their washer/dryer/frigerator went out at the last minute and they have to feed their 12 kids and grandma; and b) the rich douchebags who are wondering what all the fuss is about with the economy who buy $1300 is appliances and don’t understand why it’s not there for them to take home in their non-hybrid SU(CK)V.

I was helping a busy customer who worked all week and was on call on the weekend, so he could never have a for sure delivery date.  The prior day I had seen him with other employees trying to pick up a specific washer and dryer that he had done loads of research on (in alllll his spare time) and wanted them that day so he could take them home.  This guy comes back the next day to try and have them delivered on a day he had settled on, but was no longer available.  He gets huffy and leaves.  He comes back and asks if there is any way he could go pick them up from the warehouse.  Of course the answer is no.  He says his clothes are piling up and he may just have to go buy new ones if he can’t buy these today.  So I tell him:

“Sir, I know it’s a last ditch effort, but maybe you could go to a laundromat and….”

He cuts me off:  “No.  No, I can’t do that.”

(while he’s shaking his head) “…well, they have people who will wash and dry your clothes for you, you just pay them and…”

“No.”

“Okay, sorry.”

He leaves in a huff, ultimately not able to buy the washer and dryer he wanted which would have rang up a nice $grand$ after taxes.

This isn’t the first customer to snub a laundromat.  It’s hard not to take it personally when you know you and hundreds of millions of other desperate people who don’t own a washer and dryer but want clean underwear take their $10 in quarters every other week to do their laundry they’ve maybe worn more than once to make it that long.  It’s like he’s above even paying someone else to do his laundry for him.

What he didn’t realize: there’s no other retailer in the metroplex that will sell these models to him new that very same day.  No matter how far he’s willing to drive, they all have to be ordered if he wants them new.  Jerk.

Speaking of laundromats, we were at one yesterday and witnessed a hilarious and pitiful site: a young gentleman doing his laundry for the first time, and fucking it up royally!  First, he put too much soap in the oversized washer, so it overflowed and pissed off the Korean ladies running the place.  Then he puts all his laundry into dryers that were out of order.  The Korean ladies were soooo mad!  And he was getting frustrated because he was gaining volume with them bit by bit.  This poor guy had no clue.  So his friend meets up with him, either to help or to laugh at him, I’m not sure.  He tells his friend he’s already spent $20 fucking everything up, and he wasn’t done with all his laundry!  Poor guy.  Poor Korean ladies.

…maybe the guy trying to buy the washer and dryer was this poor sap twenty years ago…

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