Except I have not a whole lot to say.

Ummm… we’re moving!!  Into an apartment in the  same complex.  But it’s bigger!  Yay!  Argh, I hate moving though!

Here, have some sushi.

I feel like I’ve just woken up from a year long rut.  You guys may not know this, but the whole fire thing shook me up a lot worse that I let on.  I’m still dealing with the psychological after-effects, but I think the depression is clearing up. I haven’t felt like myself or looked like myself.  I would look in the mirror and be sad because it was like looking at a stranger.  My face, my eyes, my smile:  all different!  But now I can finally see myself as that different person and accept it.  It’s still me, I just have more experiences and new challenges.  There is some fine tuning I need to do as far as feeling comfortable in my own skin, but it’s only now that I actually feel like doing something about it.

It may be the new year bringing this on, or that our luck is turning around… whatever it is, I surely know who to thank

On July 18, I got married to my hubby at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas.  The ceremony was beautiful, the reception was fun, and it was a whirlwind.  I need another vacation.  Although it was most excellent to get away from everything for a few days.  And even though we lost some money, I think we both came back much richer. 

This weekend we moved to Houston in a new apartment with both our names on the lease.  We’re very pleased that we can call this apartment “ours.”  We still have a lot of unpacking to do.  The cats are still going crazy, but we’re super happy. 

I don’t know if I’m going to go back to school in the fall or not.  I’m having a career crisis, so until I figure it out, I’m not going to keep throwing money away on classes I might not ever use.

I’m going to try to enjoy life right now for what it is and not let it get me down, despite any challenges it brings.

How do you make yourself happy and make everyone else happy too?

I don’t go to God’s house very often at all; I haven’t been in probably 3 years.  I want to, because I always feel better after I do, but it’s like I’m scared.  The last time was when I visited the Shrine of our Lady Guadalupe down in the Valley and I broke down and cried.  I guess I don’t like that feeling, even if it is a release.  My family never really went to church, so it’s not ingrained in me as something I’m supposed or have to do.  That I should go because I need to, because I want to.  We have our own private relationship with God, and I appreciate it.

I have so much to thank God for, and I always say I’m going to leave it my life up to him, but it’s very hard to put your trust in Him when you don’t feel like you’ve earned it.  How do I get back to that point where I feel comfortable again asking Him for strength? 

Note:  This is just a reflection of hypothetical questions.  You can comment if you like, but don’t preach to me or tell me I need to go to church.  I find it overly righteous and hypocritical when people do that, so if you wanna offer unattached support, I’m down, but if not, please keep it to yourself.  Fanks.

Please visit my new Etsy site!  I have jewelry and jewelry supplies that you can use to make new works or even improve old ones!

http://lexipants.etsy.com

Please take a look.  Everything is hand made!

Love,

Lexi

I’m going to go to PT school at UTMB.   I’m more than likely going to be finishing up my pre-req’s at Alvin Community College, that is, if we decide to live in Pearland.  There aren’t many affordable apartment options in this area, so we’ll see.  But we’ll be moving in July, not sure exactly when.  I’m eager to have my own place again, we’re just so cramped at my parents’.  We’ll be forever grateful that they took us in after the fire, but I’m sure they’re as eager as we are for us to move out.

I’m getting married in 1.5 months.  I can’t believe how close it is.  My bridal shower is tomorrow.  I don’t know if anyone RSVP’d, probably just a little bit of family, but I’m still excited to have a little get together.  It’s like a birthday party for your wedding!

Other than that, trying to stay positive.  Life seems so, so hard, but I just have to remember where I’m going to end up.  We’re getting it together and not giving up.  I’ve met so many different people since working part time, and their stories are pretty crazy.  If they can make it back from near death, drugs, and/or abusive partners, I’m pretty sure we’ll be okay.

I do wish for a different job everyday.  I’ve been at my current hourly wage for almost a year now and have probably complained the entire time.  And now they’ve started cutting my hours.  Which, even though I don’t want to be here, I still make plenty of sales for the store for just being part time.  So I try to be thankful that I even have a job, even though management are nazis and I have to watch over my shoulder every day. 

Almost every day I find new inspiration to keep going to school so I can go to grad school and do what I need to do.  It’s not as if it’s my dream to do what I’m doing, it’s more like I feel like this is what I was supposed to do.  I don’t know if that makes sense.  But I feel like the job I will come out with will be much more meaningful to me than making pretty advertisements.  I just know that if I have to work at this place more than another year I would seriously consider hurting myself just to get out of it.  I probably wouldn’t do it, but if it’s not hell, it’s at least purgatory.

Anywho, that’s all I’ve really been up to.  School and work.  I never have a real day off because I go to school during the week and work Thursday through Sunday.  I’m burning out so hard.  But I try to remind myself every day it will all be worth it later.  We’re in limbo about where we’re going to live, if we’re going to move near or far from where we are right now, and I hate not knowing.  Some big decisions are a-brewin.  Yikes.

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